Merit Badges

I was never a Girl Scout. My big sister was, and for one whole year I was positively verdant with envy at her Brownies uniform (complete with beret!), her weekly meetings, and, of course, her merit badges. Each one got sewn onto the brown sash, accomplishments proudly on display to the rest of the world. As a natural born show-off, I found the idea very appealing.

Also, instant friends. I was an awkward child. Don’t judge.

Then I saw this post about Merit Badges for the Modern World, and it got me thinking. I may be past the days of pushing Thin Mints like some pint-sized crack dealer, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still accumulate little trophies. Here are some merit badges I’d want:

  • Ordering Take-Out in a Foreign Language
  • Navigating Bureaucracy (to get this badge, an application document must be filled out in triplicate, notarized, and submitted to three separate agencies)
  • Not Killing The Plants
  • Orienteering (or, Getting To That Place You Went Once Before Without Checking Google Maps)
  • Eating The Whole Pizza In One Sitting

    And of course, Facebook stalking. Don’t even lie; you do it too. (via FourEyes Handmade on Etsy)

What merit badges do you think you’ve earned? Any actual Scouts out there?


2 thoughts on “Merit Badges

  1. I earned that pizza merit badge back when I was 3 months pregnant and not getting out of bed. Other merit badges?
    the Positive Bank Account merit badge (when you don’t accidentally go overdrawn…especially in a foreign country on spring break when you have to ask your parents to bail you out…)
    Not Drinking From the Carton
    Stepping Away from the Impulse Purchase
    Running the Vacuum Even When No One Will See Your House
    and finally:
    Turning Off the Internet to Study for Your Residency Test. I’m working on that last one right now…

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